Can you compose an amusing tale for WORDPLAY that includes these Patsy Cline titles?

January 30, 2013 | By

Question by Silva: Can you compose an amusing tale for WORDPLAY that includes these Patsy Cline titles?
1) She thinks I still care
2) He'll do for you what he's done for me!
3) I'll sail my ship alone
4) Tight fittin' jeans
5) That's how much I love you.
6) Walkin' after midnight
7) When they ring those golden bells
8) Today tomorrow forever

Best answer:

Answer by ☼♥Dillon
Dodge City, Kansas
Circa 1875

"Alone Again.....Naturally.....Hic*"

The scene opens with Miss Kitty Russell sitting in her room. The sounds of rollicking cowboys can be heard up and down the hall.

She pounds on the wall.

Kitty:"Keep it down in there!"

Cowboy's voice:"No can do!"

Kitty:" GAWD!!"

She picks up an old photo taken when Matt was her companion.

http://www.scvhistory.com/gif/lw2109.jpg

Kitty:" Ohhhhhhh, Matt. Once you were mine;Then that horrible Sunshine descended on Dodge and POOF! You were gone! I miss you, Matt ......."

She reaches for a bottle of brandy.

Kitty:"3) I'll sail my ship alone but I'd rather be with you."

She stares into space, remembering the times they shared.
As she recalls the way he looked in 4) Tight fittin' jeans
she pushes aside the bottle of brandy and reaches for her Randy Scouse Git Rotgut.

Prior to drifting into a complete state of alcohol-induced oblivion, she hears voices across the street. She stumbles over to the window and looks out. Matt and Sunshine are talking on the porch of his office. She watches as they exchange side way glances and giggle as they go into Matt's office.
Soon the curtains of the jailhouse are drawn.
Kitty looks at the clock on her dresser.

Kitty:" Yep. Noontime. It's time for their.....siiiiiiiESta....BAH!!
Now 2) He'll do for you what he's done for me!" She wipes a tear from her eye. "Except that he'll stay all afternoon with YOU!!!"

She's startled when the door to the jailhouse flys open.

Matt:"But darrrrrrlin'!!!"

Sunshine:"Don't you 'darlin' me, Matt Dillon. Why do you keep a lock of Kitty's hair in your desk drawer??!!!"

Kitty perks up immediately and straightens her disshelved locks. She laughs loudly as she realizes that they had found what SHE had planted in Matt's desk.

Matt:" I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THERE!!!! Wait here....DON'T MOVE!!"

Matt goes back into his office and grabs the lock of red hair.

Kitty watches in horror as he sets fire to it.

Matt:"You see, baby. It means nothing to me. Kitty must have put it there. 1) She thinks I still care, I reckon."

Sunshine calms down and a smile creeps across her face.
She walks over to Matt,grabs his belt and stares up into his gorgeous blue eyes. Before she has a chance to ruin the moment with a raucous "Hee Haw" or a bubble gum mishap, Matt kisses her passionately.

Matt:"8) Today tomorrow forever.....I love you, Sunny."

Kitty slumps into her chair.

Kitty:" Death, death.......7) When they ring those golden bells in heaven I'm going to beg St. Peter to drag Sunshine off to a bug-infested forest so I can spend eternity with Matt. In the meantime I guess I'll be stuck here, 6) Walkin' (the streets of Dodge) after midnight, alone again......naturally......hic*"

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

Kitty ......http://rlv.zcache.com/heavens_door_print-p228194993671222361trma_400.jpg
Sunshine.... http://image.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/woman-bugs.jpg
Matt......http://www.cherishedtelevision.co.uk/gunlaw%201.jpg

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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