Making changes to my engagement ring?

May 12, 2013 | By

Question by Lindsey: Making changes to my engagement ring?
On the day of the wedding:
We both wore cheap, $ 20 silver rings, which I still have and cherish.

1st Year Anniversary:
Upgrade to a 3 Stone . . .

2nd Year Anniversary:
Upgrade to a 1.5 solitaire, ideal princess Cut. This loose diamond I am planning to keep forever.

3rd Year:
A new bridal setting for the solitaire diamond.

4th Year:
Personal engraved message on the band.

5th Year:
A halo of diamonds surrounding my solitaire ring.

He says he likes to upgrade my ring because I don't wear any other jewelry besides my engagement ring, so he makes upgrades to my ring. He says it's a way for him to signify the changes in our lives together because nothing ever stays the same, and like my ring, our love will change and only become stronger and more beautiful over time. He also says the fact that I would marry him with a cheap, silver ring means so much to him, and now that we can afford a better ring, he wants to give me the best. Still, I am starting to become reluctant because people are starting to make negative comments and accuse me of trying to be "flashy" even though this is the only piece of jewelry I wear. My friends say they would never spend "so much" money on making changes to their rings. The changes he made to my ring is relatively small, but over the years, the changes made has added up significantly. What should I do? Should I hide the changes to my ring whenever our anniversary comes up or tell my husband to stop with the changes?

Best answer:

Answer by Cate M
You know, I think you should do whatever makes you happy. I know sometimes it's hard to ignore what other people think, but this is a case where you really need to. It may be hard, but you have to say to these people "Why do you care if my husband wants to upgrade my ring? It is none of your business." If you feel like you need to explain it, then simply say "My husband and I married with very little money. Each year, he upgrades my ring as a symbol of his love." If you like your ring and are happy with it now, simply tell him so. Please try to ignore the people who tell you that it's flashy. If you love it, that's what's important. If you prefer he stop upgrading it, ask him to think about an anniversary band to go along with it.

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Comments (2)

  1. Garnet Glitter

    I think it’s a lovely idea…and ignore the naysayers..it’s jealousy that fuels their fire. Not just because of the ring, but your hubby! good luck.

  2. Carolina

    I think your friends need to mind their own business, and next time they bring it up, find a tactful way of telling them so. Something like, “I can understand wanting to keep the ring you had on your wedding day, but Steve and I have always liked the idea of upgrading. He says that our love is growing stronger and changing over time, and the ring symbolizes that.” If they say anything else after that, just shrug and say, “Well you don’t have to wear it.”

    Do you want your husband to stop with the changes? I think what he’s doing is very romantic, but at a point you just won’t be able to fit anymore. You could get an anniversary band and wear that instead of the halo of diamonds, or some other options for different bands to go with the solitaire ring. After a few more years though I think it’s time to start wearing more jewelry or find something else for him to get you as an anniversary gift. A simple right hand ring, or a pearl choker are good gifts for someone who doesn’t wear a lot of jewelry. My grandparents took the same trip every year for their anniversary, and it became a nice romantic tradition for them. Bottom line, do what you want to do.