Q&A: how do you feel about upgrading engagement rings?

June 29, 2013 | By

Question by J.J G: how do you feel about upgrading engagement rings?
a lot of women are doing this now a days, a few years down the road upgrading. in a few cases i can understand because they didn't have money when first got engaged but in others the woman just does it out of style an trends. i personally think the engagement ring should be forever but i am a sentimental type of person. opiniones?

Best answer:

Answer by K
That's awful. I would never "upgrade" my engagement ring. If he wants he can get you a nice ring for an anniversary, but never to replace your engagement ring.

What do you think? Answer below!

What I Wore March 20, 2006
engagement ring trends

Image by BrittneyBush
Boys' Ninja Turtles t-Shirt (Yes, they still make them!) from Cotton House, Hurghada, Egypt

White tank by Trend Basics

Jeans by LEI

Ankle boots from Wahib, Hurghada, Egypt

Bracelets from various cheapo shops

Ring on right hand I've had so long I don't remember where it came from

The one on the left hand is my engagement ring :)

Filed in: Weddings | Tags: , , , ,

Comments (21)

  1. Meghan

    I think each family has to look at their own lives and decide what they want to do. I adore my engagement ring, and could never imagine replacing it. However, we are a slightly older couple (30s), so finances were a bit more secure than a 22 year old with mountains of college debt. I know 2 of my sisters have upgraded their rings since getting married over 5 years ago. However, it works for them. It doens’t change their marriage or hwo happy they are. One of my friends upgraded the ring and did a 5 year vow renewal. So, it was almost a second wedding- so she got a second ring.

  2. Jessica Mrj

    i think it is beyond tacky to upgrade unless it got stolen or lost

  3. tra la la la la la

    well whatever you want to do is up to you i guess, you are not hurting anyone. however even if my ring was stolen and my other half bought me a new ring it still would never be the ring that he proposed to me with.
    so personally i dont get the point in calling it an engagement ring as its not really its more just a nice gift.

  4. choochoo

    My wedding ring is very simple and I am sure some women look at it and think well that is nothing special. That being said, I am not going to upgrade it unless my husband gets me an upgrade later down the road for an anniversary.

  5. Luv2Answer

    I planned to upgrade on our 5th or 10th anniversary but the truth is that when the time came I was too attached to the first one and secondly once you have kids and a mortgage, spending a ton of money on a ring seems absolutely pointless.

  6. riversconfluence

    My mother had a little bitty diamond engagement ring, you all these days would call it a promise ring. And her wedding band was skinny.
    Dad promised her he would someday upgrade them, and he did just before my 16th birthday. She got a nice thick fancy band and matching engagement ring. I got the diamond out of the old ring, Mom had it re-set into white gold for me. Pretty. And I inherited the gold from the engagement ring.

    But, if you got a nice engagement ring, you should keep it. Styles come and go, and Rivers is sorry that having keepsakes, and keeping things for heirlooms is considered out of style now. A whole generation after yours will have nothing of their forebears, hey guys, that means no antiques to sell for extra cash.
    Antiques Roadshow, 2080 will talk about the dearth of antiques from the early 2000s.

    I think one should keep their engagement and wedding ring set forever, the post WWII crowd, that had to make due when there was little gold to make into rings, and no one could afford it anyway is mostly gone now.
    So if you just must have a new ring set, perhaps wait until a major anniversary, like the 35th, to have a new one. And perhaps, have the old one done over using its gold for the daughter of the house. Or use the gold and the diamond in the new rings.

    In other words, keep your rings and wear them!

  7. Stacy

    I personally would never do it- my engagement ring is an heirloom, and I wouldn’t do a thing to change it. I kind of understand the concept, but at the same time I feel an attachment to my ring, because my husband proposed with it, so I can’t imagine wanting to replace any part of it unless a stone was lost. I totally agree with you on the sentimental thing- I feel like if I ever upgraded, it wouldn’t feel like the same ring anymore.
    For others, well- to each their own. I’m sure there are plenty of reasons why someone would upgrade, it’s just not an option for me.

  8. Liz

    I don’t really care. I wont be getting my ring upgraded because I absolutely love it, but people can do whatever they want. It’s their life, not mine.

  9. joinme4coffee

    I don’t see anything wrong with it. As the years go by, our tastes change. We don’t wear the same clothes, shoes, etc. Looking back on wedding photos, our wedding gowns have gone out of style. We still love the dress and photos, but would never buy that dress today. If you’re keeping the same setting and changing the diamond for a better one or adding small diamonds around the original, how is that not sentimental? Same if your financial situation changes. Some women like to have their ring reflect who they are today and not necessarily who they were 20 years ago.

    If a woman and her husband like the idea of upgrading, it’s not a big deal to me. Of course everyone is different and if you want the ring you were proposed with, that’s wonderful. But don’t judge someone that has a different opinion. It’s their ring and their marriage.

    Remember, too, there are women who have lost their rings and had to have them replaced. Also, due to unfortunate financial situations, some some have to sell or pawn their rings.

    In the end, your ring is merely a symbol and doesn’t define your marriage.

  10. Mrs. Frankenstein

    I would never do this personally because I’m not a fancy jewelry kind of gal to begin with. I like my tiny diamond ring the way it is, thank you.

    It’s one thing to mean something to the person wearing it, but I think it’s a total JOKE when women get their ring enlarged because they think their rings are smaller or lacking compared to so and so’s. That’s when I don’t condone the upgrades.

  11. Garlex

    I think that no matter how rich I become I would never upgrade my engagement ring if I was the lady… I might buy other fancy rings, but I will never give away my engagement one for a “prettier” one.

  12. Messykatt

    Where are you getting that “a lot of women are doing this”? I don’t know anyone who has done it.

    And if I did, I wouldn’t care.

  13. $m@rty P@nt$

    If you don’t have money for the ring you want, don’t get a ‘ring’ until you can get the one you want. But i wouldn’t change anything with my ring, it means way to much to me.

    Only thing i would do about a ring is get a different ring that i can wear when i get swollen and very pregnant.

  14. Ashley D

    I wouldn’t get my ring upgraded unless it got lost or stolen or was otherwise beyond repair.

    I mean, I can’t stop other people from upgrading, if that’s what they want to do, but to me it’s mostly pointless. Nothing about the relationship is made better or improved upon by the ring being made larger or whatever else you want to do to it.

  15. Aphrodite

    I can understand in the case of my parents, my dads friend proposed, got turned down, my dad then bought the ring off of his friend and used the same ring to propose to my mom, meaning my dad wasn’t thinking of my mom when he picked out the ring he just bought it off a friend that got rejected. It was about their 15th anniversary by the time it got replaced, she still has her original though, even her original wedding band, even though she rarely wears it, because of work and whatnot, plus she now has to wear it on her pinky

    And yes I do agree with you that they should be forever, that’s why they cost as much as they do, and why diamond engagement rings are the most common, because they can withstand the wear over time.

  16. Invisigoth

    I don’t care for it. if you want a new ring then get a milestone anniversary ring.

    I like the idea of having a ring that reminds of you when you first got together & the old days. an “upgraded” ring won’t do that.

    guess I have a band of sentimentality running through me as well.

  17. krissylyn

    Oh gosh people get new rings for all sorts of reasons, and it doesn’t have anything to do with “now a days”. My mother got a new setting 25 years ago. She replaced the wedding band/engagement ring with one wide band with the same stone set in it, after the originals wore thin. I replaced my wedding band/enagement ring when some of the diamonds fell out of the wedding band (it was vintage and clearly not strong enough to withstand my everyday wear). My SIL replaces her wedding band every couple of years, depending upon what she feels like. Her husband does the same thing. So in my world, it would see really odd to have an engagment ring last “forever” – Styles change/taste change/things break. I’d like to think that I was more flexible and less sentimental than that – especially if I did lose it.

  18. JAMES K

    An Engagement is a one time thing and the ring is one ring. There is no such thing as an ‘upgrade’, that is sheer nonsense. The only thing that supersedes an engagement ring is a wedding ring.

  19. ♥Anton Lee's mummy TTC #2♥

    I upgraded my engagement ring, I got engaged on my 15th birthday and because my fiancé was also 15 he didn’t have much money so he bought me a cheap ring (around £30) as my engagement ring and for Christmas 2011 he bought me a proper engagement ring which was a surprise and I don’t plan on upgrading this one. We were both 19 when he bought me the second one last Christmas so had more money

  20. ZOMBIEBONES

    Personally, I think that the rings given to us for engagement and marriage are of sentimental value and I would never want to replace it. I think its fine for vow renewals to ADD a small band or something of that nature. BUT if you want to, and your husband wants to then I guess that’s fine :) I just think that marriages shouldn’t be based on the value of the ring, but the value of the relationship. If the ring were to get lost, or irreparably broken, then it would make sense to replace the ring. But otherwise, in my opinion it is not necessary.

  21. Lydia

    I agree with you. Stick with the original engagement ring and wedding band.

    One can always get an additional ring for an anniversary; on our 10th my husband got me a lovely band which went with the two other rings. (they are modest and thin bands, so look great together).