Q&A: My wife wears frumpy clothes all the time. How can I get her to be more fashionable?

February 8, 2013 | By

Question by : My wife wears frumpy clothes all the time. How can I get her to be more fashionable?
She is 40 years old and orders crap from Coldwater Creek that 55 year old wear. She also wears the same old baggy tshirt to bed every night and never wears any lingerie. I have requested for years. It is getting old. I have told her many times her clothes are frumpy and old lady looking. She has a great figure.

Best answer:

Answer by Mia
Take her shopping!! Show her what YOU like!

What do you think? Answer below!

Kiyoi + 55 Year Anniversary
anniversary 55 years

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Comments (14)

  1. AmandaNikolah

    Buy her new clothes that will suites your taste.

  2. bnvs232000

    Let her go on a shopping spree w/ a friend thats fashionable.

  3. ms_sugakane

    You can take her places…even buy her some items that are middle ground. Then ease her into sexy clothes. Give her a day at the spa and compliment her about how she looks.

  4. KAT C

    go to the shops yourself and buy a whole bunch of sexy clothes even from the lingerie shop just ask the sales chicks, make sure you find out your wifes sizes, then put them in her wardrobe and hide her old clothes. Life is too short to be putting up with this, go for it.

  5. sarch_uk

    Why don’t you just buy her something and give it to her as a surprise gift…along with some flowers. At the same time, make sure that you are wearing clothes that she would like to see you in…..do you have a beer belly…if so do something about it. Try to be more tactful in how you describe her clothing…it can be a very sensitive issue…maybe she has no self esteem, which can be brought about by being told that she is wearing frumpy and old lady looking clothes.

    Take her on a shopping spree and show her how much you care, instead of just moaning about what she is wearing.

  6. Holly W

    Maybe you could tell her for her birthday or some other celebration that for part of her present, you are taking her shopping. Then help pick out some things for her to try on that you think are nice, as long as they aren’t slutty, because that could backfire on you big time. :) If you do this, look for things that are more tailored to the body. Like for instance when buying a blazer, it should not be a straight cut, it needs to be more fitted through the sides. This cut gives a very neat yet slimming appearance. And jeans need to be boot cut and not high waters. And a little heel on a boot looks great. Plus she needs to accessorize. Every little detail helps. I love doing make overs, it’s so much fun to see the transformation. Good luck!! :)

  7. melouofs

    Nominate her to be on What Not to Wear on TLC–it’s a great show! Alot of women seem to think stylish=uncomfortable, but that doesn’t have to be true! Also, what kinds of clothes do you wear? Are you stylish or do you do the typical guy thing and wear jeans or kakhi’s and a golf shirt all the time? I see lots of men who want their wives to look stylish, do their nails, makeup, hair, all the while not doing anything with their own appearnace…of course, I do not know if you fall into this category, but maybe she’s taking her overly casual cues from you…

  8. MamaSunshine

    Don’t tell her her clothes are frumpy, that just makes it worse. Have you told her how beautiful and sexy you think she is? Have you said something about how pretty she is to other people in front of her? Have you sent her flowers? Have you treated her like a princess? Sometimes that’s all it takes to make her start dressing like one. Then, take her on a shopping spree at a nice chic store, not Stuff-Mart

  9. Blackwidow

    Look into getting her onto one of those makeover shows. Or when you are out with her look around at what other women are wearing and when you see something you like get her attention and tell her that you like that style and think she would look great in something like that. Then say, “I think I am going to take you out and buy you some clothes like that!” If she see how much you like it, then most likely she will want to please you and try something new. Tell her you will take her out for a makeover cause you have heard that women enjoy them! But remember to be tactful. Don’t give her the impression that you are checking out other women when you are searching for a style to show her. And don’t act like she is not attractive to you the way that she is now.

  10. HIM_fan_tr

    simple-call trinny and Susannah!

  11. welches_grape_jelly

    You need to be a bit more sensitive to her. Telling her how frumpy she looks won’t inspire her to change her style for you; it will only make her feel bad. You need to find a way to communicate with her without hurting her feelings.
    Start by having a talk with her. Remind her that you love her, and find her to be beautiful and desirable. Gently tell her that you would like to see her in more flattering clothing. Don’t insult her current fashion, it probably will make her tune out what you have to say. Instead, suggest that you two go shopping to buy her some new clothing.
    A one day full makeover is hard to adjust to, so make sure that you do this gradually. She won’t throw out all of her old stuff in favor of new. And if you try to make her, then she’s likely to revert back to the old things anyway. Add to her existing wardrobe a little at a time, and make it easy for her to see the difference.

    Start with one or two nice outfits, and make sure you take her out somewhere where she can wear them. It doesn’t do any good to have a great dress if all you do is stay home at night. Plan a romantic evening for two, and let her know about before the shopping trip. Make reservations at her favorite resturant (if she has one) and maybe even some theater tickets or something for after. The nicer the evening, the more enthusiastic she will be about looking her best for it. (If you have kids, find a sitter for them.)
    Make sure that whatever you choose is realistic for her to wear. Don’t expect her to go from cotton to spandex all in one day. Suggest styles that will flatter her figure, and still be comfortable. Since she has a strong preference for Coldwater Creek, then you could even find a nice dress from them. Not all of their clothing is “old lady.”
    After you’ve gotten her the first few outfits, she will probably be more open to changing her style. The more you make her see how much you love the new look, and the better you treat her, the more likely she will be open to the idea. You have to make sure that you continue to tell her how beautiful she is, and how much more fantastic she looks in the new clothing.
    Here are some more youthful dress, that are nice enough for an evening out, and will flatter most body types.
    http://www.coldwatercreek.com/aspx/product.aspx?np=true&channel=1&productId=29489&deptId=1&ensembleId=33453&cmPageViewId=C11110000
    http://www.coldwatercreek.com/aspx/product.aspx?np=true&channel=1&productId=29104&deptId=1&ensembleId=33009&cmPageViewId=C11110000
    http://www.coldwatercreek.com/aspx/product.aspx?np=true&channel=1&productId=28671&deptId=1&ensembleId=32461&cmPageViewId=C11110000
    http://www.coldwatercreek.com/aspx/product.aspx?np=true&channel=1&productId=28526&deptId=1&ensembleId=32284&cmPageViewId=C11110000
    http://www.coldwatercreek.com/aspx/product.aspx?np=true&channel=1&productId=28100&deptId=1&ensembleId=32603&cmPageViewId=C11110000
    Once she sees how much you are impressed by how beautiful she can look, then suggest the change to the everyday clothing. Remember to be encouraging and supportative. Don’t ever insult her or her clothing. Slowly add to her wardrobe whenever it’s time to buy her a gift. If she unwraps a pretty top or skirt that you gave her as a gift, she’s more likely to wear it to make you happy. Trying to get her to change won’t happen overnight, so you have to be patient.
    Then wait for a special occasion (birthday, anniversary, Valentine’s Day) and buy her some pretty nightgowns. You shouldn’t expect her to go from a t-shirt to a lace teddy. Don’t get anything too sexy, but instead look for pretty and feminine gowns that she can wear to sleep in. The more elaborate it is, the less comfortable she will be when she sleeps. Since she does sleep in a tee, look for styles with a similar cut, but in nicer fabrics.
    http://www4.jcpenney.com/jcp/Products.aspx?DeptID=40379&CatID=40471&CatTyp=DEP&ItemTyp=G&GrpTyp=STY&ItemID=0f37b09&ProdSeq=2&Cat=gowns+nightshirts&Dep=Lingerie&PCat=Sleepwear&PCatID=40388&RefPage=ProductList&Sale=&ProdCount=26&RecPtr=&ShowMenu=&TTYP=&ShopBy=0&RefPageName=CategoryAll.aspx&RefCatID=40388&RefDeptID=40379&Page=1&CmCatId=40379|40388|40471
    http://www4.jcpenney.com/jcp/Products.aspx?DeptID=40379&CatID=40471&CatTyp=DEP&ItemTyp=G&GrpTyp=SIZ&ItemID=0fa4112&ProdSeq=9&ProdCount=26&Cat=gowns+nightshirts&Dep=Lingerie&shopby=0&PCat=Sleepwear&PCatID=40388&RefPage=PRODUCTNAV&Sale=&Ttyp=&ShowMenu=&RefPageName=CategoryAll.aspx&RefCatID=40388&RefDeptID=40379&CmCatId=40379|40388|40471&Filter=
    If she likes them, then try the more romantic styles.
    http://www4.jcpenney.com/jcp/Products.aspx?DeptID=40379&CatID=40471&CatTyp=DEP&ItemTyp=G&GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=0fa40d4&ProdSeq=13&Cat=gowns+nightshirts&Dep=lingerie&PCat=sleepwear&PCatID=40388&RefPage=ProductList&Sale=&ProdCount=26&RecPtr=&ShowMenu=&TTYP=&ShopBy=0&RefPageName=CategoryAll.aspx&RefCatID=40388&RefDeptID=40379&Page=2&CmCatId=40379|40388|40471
    http://www4.jcpenney.com/jcp/Products.aspx?DeptID=40379&CatID=40471&CatTyp=DEP&ItemTyp=G&GrpTyp=SIZ&ItemID=0f378f5&ProdSeq=20&Cat=gowns+nightshirts&Dep=lingerie&PCat=sleepwear&PCatID=40388&RefPage=ProductList&Sale=&ProdCount=26&RecPtr=&ShowMenu=&TTYP=&ShopBy=0&RefPageName=CategoryAll.aspx&RefCatID=40388&RefDeptID=40379&Page=3&CmCatId=40379|40388|40471
    Then you could suggest the really sexy gowns, and then the lingerie.
    It will take a lot of love, and a lot of understanding on your part. (I know, my father and I went through this with my mother. She’s the same way, she wears unflattering clothing just because it’s comfortable with no thought to fashion.) If you can show that you will love her either way, but you really like the way she looks when she dresses nicer, she’ll be more open to the change.

  12. xochelsxo16

    Take her to her favorite store in the mall and buy her some clothes with one of her friends so they can pick out some clothes together and ask someone who works ther to help find what looks good on her!

  13. Tennessee_whiskey6969

    I like what another poster said, kind of ease her into more stylish things. I agree, if someone told me that my taste was frumpy, I’d tell them to bugger off and cling more tightly to what I’m choosing.

    First of all, is she more of a pants or skirts and dresses kind of girl? That will help in the choices of things you might pick out for her, if you surprise her with something. Now, if she’s into the Coldwater Creek things with longer skirts, you’re not gonna get her into an itty bitty crotch-length miniskirt. You’re going for a happy medium.

    As to the lingerie. Victoria’s secret has a lot of pretty and comfortable items. I practically live and breathe their bras and undies. All of it isn’t the “cut down to here and slit up to there” type of things. I have a feeling that her main thing is comfort, and you can find clothes that are comfortable *and* flattering if you look and spend time on it.

    Get some good friends of hers together, especially ones whose taste in clothing you think will help her be a little more adventurous. Hand her the plastic/stash of cash/checkbook, and tell her to git ‘er done!

  14. Celebstyle11

    Tell her to check out http://www.whatcelebswear.com

    She will find everything she needs to transform her wardrobe into that of something a bit more sexy!!