Question by geri: What are some wedding day "DONT'S" you disagree with?
I don't think thank you notes or gifts is at all necessary. I don't think its wrong for guests to wear white and I don't see anything wrong in the bride and groom applying a dress code.
Best answer:
Answer by steelerchick86
I disagree with you on the wearing white(if a bride is going to spend all that $ for a dress to wear 1 day..then why should anyone steal her thunder). I disagree with the whole not seeing each other before the ceremony cause it's bad luck...there are worse things that can be bad luck than that.
What do you think? Answer below!
don’t think thank you notes or gifts is at all necessary
you are gonna get some slack on that one. lol.
I think you should say thank you for all gifts. But I believe you don’t need to send out thankyou notes until after the wedding (not as you recieve each gift as you get them.)
I don’t think its wrong for guests to wear white.
I don’t think guest favours are needed because most people just throw them away anyways, however I do believe food should be plentiful.
I think dress codes are okay, but that you should know the guests who are coming and not expect a man who lives in sweats to show up in a suit, but should expect him to come clean and hole-free.
Maybe its cuz I prefer a more casual atmosphere, but I love great decor and food with a laid back attitude.
I don’t belive seeing the bride in her dress before the ceremony is bad luck. I do however believe that the dress should be a surprise to the groom, as in he doesnt help pick it out.
I don’t think that there should be so many do’s and don’ts.
A wedding should be about these two people committing themselves to one another in front of their friends and family and the “rules” should actually just be guidelines for people, so that they know how to act, what to do, when etc. I think that a certain amount of guidelines and etiquette can be useful, but things have reached such a point with weddings that, unless you regularly attend and are completely au fait with all of their goings on, you’re bound to make a slip up somewhere and I don’t think that brides and grooms would want people feeling bad about a silly mistake that had no real impact on their day.
That’s just my thoughs, but we had a very informal wedding with minimal rules and fuss on the do’s and don’ts front and had a lovely time.
My husband *hated* when I talked “etiquette” when planning our wedding
)
I have answered questions on here about people asking how to ask guests for money instead of gifts by saying that it’s frowned upon by most people, but to be honest, it doesn’t bother me personally. I would rather give money and know that it’s going to be used for something the couple needs, rather than buy them a boxed gift that may not be to their taste, or doesn’t suit their home. To be honest, oh, I am so going to get thumbs down for this, but I don’t see a couple wanting cash any different to a gift registry. It’s a guide. The couple would like cash, but I’m sure that 99% of them would greatfully accept a boxed gift instead.
I don’t go in much for the traditional “bad luck” superstitions – don’t spend the night before the wedding together, don’t let the groom see the bride before the wedding, don’t let the groom see the dress, blah blah blah. I didn’t let my husband see my dress, but that was because I wanted it to be a surprise, not because I thought it would doom our marriage.
Sometimes I think people can get rather bogged down in traditional do’s and don’ts, and forget about the reason for the day – marrying the love of your life.
if you dont have thank you notes then that’s just cheap and rude. people come to celebrate your big day and give you gifts and you cant say or send a thank you. hhhmmm…
I don’t think gifts are necessary but i do think acknowledgment of such generosity is necessary and therefore, “thank you”s are necessary. Not saying thank you is rude in my opinion…just like whenever someone does anything for you. It’s just good manners. But maybe good manners was just how i was raised.
I don’t think it’s wrong for guests to wear white.
I don’t think guest favors are necessary.
I don’t agree with “weddings are no place for children”. Forming a unit and creating a new family is the point of a wedding — last time i checked, kids, more often than not, are a part of families.
I don’t agree with people saying you have to have alcohol at the reception. That’s just a load of BS. Nobody “needs” to lower their inhibitions and get buzzed just to act like there’s not a stick shoved where the sun doesn’t shine. I have severe social anxiety and even i can still let loose without alcohol…if i can, almost everyone else can.
I agree with the bride and groom not being able to apply a dress code to a certain extent. If the bride and groom ask the women dress more modestly, i’m fine with that. But i’m not going to go out and by some silly costume because they want to turn their wedding into some themed child’s party.
I disagree with the “don’t see the bride before the wedding” thing. My husband and I saw eachother before our wedding. We actually took most of our formal pictures 2 hours before the ceremony.
One thing I got slack on when I was planning my wedding was the fact that you shouldn’t put your registry info in the invitation? I asked a question on here a few months back about this and got a lot of push back on it.. (Ettiquette No-No and all that) which I thought was stupid. How are people supposed to know where you’re registered otherwise??
I don’t disagree with people wearing outfits that have white in them, so long as it’s not the primary focus. a nice floral printed dress with a white undertone is perfectly acceptable to wear as far as I’m concerned. But all white is a definite DON’T
I also think it’s necessary to send thank you cards for gifts you receive at your wedding and bridal shower and before the wedding too. It’s just rude to not thank people for thinking of you.
1.) DON’T Include the gift registry in the invitation.
I violently disagree with this rule. The theory is that information on the registry should spread by “word of mouth” or we should talk to the mother…but this doesn’t work for younger guys. I have no contact with the mother of my college chum’s girlfriends and aren’t likely to be in the loop. I think it’s kind of rude to make me frantically call around to get this information. Everything the guest needs to know should be included in the same envelope as invitation…it makes life easier. Etiquette should be about making the lives of guests easier, not dusty old rules from a time when all your guests likely lived in the same small town.
2.) DON’T make guests pay for alcoholic drinks.
Realistically, an open bar is expensive. It also is dangerous if you have alcoholic relatives. I think a “cash bar” is perfectly acceptable nowadays.