Q&A: What can i help pay for in my friend’s wedding ?

January 27, 2013 | By

Question by Stacy M: What can i help pay for in my friend's wedding ?
I am a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding and she has hinted (more than once) that any (financial) help she can get would be greatly appreciated. I will already have to pay for all the bridesmaid expenses i will incur which is like $ 300 dollars. I don't have a lot of money to just be spending like crazy, should i have to pitch in for anything else?

Best answer:

Answer by tastelykpurple
Uh...no...you've already spent $ 300. This is her wedding, not yours.

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Better reveals the expensive price tags attached to being a bridesmaid and the areas where you can save.
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Comments (16)

  1. Texas Deb

    No you don’t. This is her wedding and if she can’t afford to have it, then she should scale it down a bit. You can offer your time though. If she needs something done, like making a centerpiece, offer to help out making them.

    Paying for your bridesmaid dress is customary, but nothing else in the wedding should be on you.

  2. lalala

    No, you should not have to pitch in for anything else. If the bride is hinting that she wants to you contribute to her wedding then she is being incredibly rude.

    It is up to the bride and groom (or whoever is hosting the wedding/reception) to make a budget and spend what they can afford.

  3. loved 3-7-09

    If you just wanted to be a good friend and just help out you dont have to get a big item, you could just give her something small she could use towards a needed item.Im pretty sure the bride knows how much you are spending to be in the wedding so she shouldn’t be expecting some big gift something small will do.

  4. fizzygurrl1980

    Your friend is rude to suggest that you are obligated to foot the bill for anything except your bridesmaid attire. Bridesmaids typically all chip in to take the bride out for her bachelorette party, and her MOH may ask for a small contribution toward the bridal shower, but other than that, you are not obligated to pay for anything else. If the bride tries to tell you that you’re supposed to be paying for anything else, she is wrong.

  5. Ashley D

    no, you have already inccured all the money you should have to spend. its HER wedding not yours, and even though she is a dear friend, you should not have to help her in this way. $ 300 is a LOT for a bridesmaid, how much more does she expect you to help?

    tell her very politely that while you would love to help you just can not financially commit yourself to something you arent sure that if you can afford or not

  6. justwanttoknow

    Since you are in the wedding the only thing that you should feel obligate to pay for would be your bridesmaid clothes/shoes ….If expenses are tight for your friend then she needs to cut back on her wedding….and that is not your problem…

  7. Stacey-Marie J

    I think your friend is a cheeky mare – if she can’t afford it then don’t have a big wedding.

  8. timmy

    You really aren’t obligated but its a nice gesture if you do. See what they have bought and what they need. You could donate a few small things like a guest book & pen, maybe a nice set of wine/champagne glasses to sit at head table, card box/basket, cake topper, etc.

    Or personal things for her like a garter, or little white handbag, pillow for the ring bearer. Whatever you do get, give it to her right away so she doesn’t go and buy one herself.

  9. Chrissy

    Buy her a gift that’s it. Actually you spending $ 300 should be more than enough. It’s not your wedding and if you wanted to pitch in that should have came from you not from her hinting. That was rude of her.

  10. wiesnk@sbcglobal.net

    I agree with everyone else on here. She is beyond rude in hinting or out-right asking for her wedding party to help chip in to pay for their wedding!

    If it bothers you and you want to be a good friend ask the bride what they are having trouble affording and help her to find a more inexpensive way to get the same thing/effect.

    By agreeing to be in their wedding party you agree to help with the wedding preparations not help pay for them!

    Good luck!

  11. BeautyRush

    You dont have to pay for anything, its her wedding. If she didnt have the means to do it, she just shouldn’t have. Asking friends for money for the wedding is not nice. You already did your part. Your job is done. What you can do, is enjoy the party :)

  12. people_009

    It is your choice to how much you want to spend…300 sounds really good, and your only a briadsmaid so i know that your friend will greatly apreat your help that you have given her…i know that it isnt your wedding but maybe help her with making stuff…tell her to not have the invitations bought it would be 75% moe cheaper to make them your self also find a find maybe a family friend that you know that takes amazing pictures and maybe they will take the pictures for you…and then you can pay them a lot lower price than what you would pay a professional photography…also maybe you can save by doing your own nails that would be a great way to help your bride to save money… hope i helped…Good luck

  13. njunprincess

    You have fullfilled your part of the wedding bliss that comes with your title. It is not your responsibility to pay for the wedding itself. As a wedding gift, you can always give cash like most others will. So they’ll have money later to re-coop some of their costs.

  14. Jess

    You’ve already payed for your bridesmaid attire. You will probably play a part in planning the shower and bachelorette party. You will also be giving her a wedding gift. These are your contributions. Don’t add more to the list.

  15. msvanessa31@ymail.com

    not one more penny.

  16. iloveweddings

    Hi. NO, you most certainly do not need to contribute financially to her wedding! Wow! She has a lot of nerve. Seems like she is planning something beyond her budget and wants financial help from her bridesmaids? NOT.

    Where I live, it is traditional that the bridesmaids perhaps host a shower for her, but it certainly is not mandatory and the bridesmaids do NOT have to plan it. Sometimes it’s an aunt, cousin, or friend who wants to host a shower.

    If you want to get her a gift, that is also optional depending on your financial situation. As you said, you are already spending $ 300, so that is already a gift.