Q&A: What happens in Court when a spouse files to review shared parenting and takes you back to court?

February 6, 2013 | By

Question by MST3K: What happens in Court when a spouse files to review shared parenting and takes you back to court?
I have a hunch my EX is taking me back to court over shared parenting. Is this more informal than Divorce?
what should I be prepared to bring? Bills, expenses etc..

Best answer:

Answer by Ellie
NO you do not need any of that, your ex just wants more access to the children. The courts will review how the visitations are going now and if it is in the best interest of the child to have more access to the parent.

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Episode #SAVTLTV20100215B Attorney Doug Andrews talks about Divorce Issues.
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Comments (1)

  1. Alex S

    I’m one of a new breed of lawyers who try to help people work out their divorce / domestic / parenting arrangements amicably, without running back and forth to court to ask a stranger (a judge) to regulate your personal affairs. I’d like to suggest three resources for you to try.

    Yes, there are times when you or your spouse might NEED to go to court. But it could possibly not only save a ton of money in lawyer fees if you can work things out, but also it will be best for everyone in the long run if you maintain some semblance of teamwork in parenting. You already know you need to work as a parenting team while your kids are small or in high school. Have you thought about future weddings, grandchildren, etc? You have a long way to go, it’s best to keep it amicable!!! So here are my suggestions:

    First, try talking. Suppose that you can’t talk without getting into a screaming match. Use a Mediator. Mediation is what I do, mostly. The job of a mediator is to referee a conversation — you control the content of what is said, but I control the process and keep it from getting out of line. Yes, you pay a mediator, but it’s worth it. The mediator can not only help you work out an agreement that keeps you out of court, keeps you from having to spend money on lawyers, but actually may coach you enough that you might possibly be able to manage on your own in the future. I’ve actually had couples come to me for divorce who ended up not needing a divorce, once they learned more specific techniques for “fighting fair”. You can find a mediator by looking on mediate(dot)com or through any community mediation center. In my opinion, the gold standard you hopefully should look for is someone certified as an Advanced Practitioner through the Association for Conflict Resolution (you can find one through the family section of ACR on their web site, too).

    Second, if you can talk without getting into horrible fights (so maybe can work through things withhout a mediator), consider using these two online resources and see where that might take you. http://www.uptoparents.org and http://www.ourfamilywizard.com As a matter of fact, I’ve actually collected these and several more parenting plan resources on my own web site http://02e1cd2.netsolhost.com/wordpressDE/2011/02/09/divorce-parenting-plan/
    See if the two of you can renegotiate a parenting plan that works for both of you and the children. ANd hey, suppose you can’t agree on what is best for the children, wanna know what I suggest to people? Agree together to consult with a child psychologist about what is appropriate and good for your children. This takes it out of the “he said, she said” kind of debate and gives both of you a gold standard to aim for and agree upon.

    Okay, last option. Suppose you can’t agree and your ex does take you back to court, so you both have to hire lawyers. Try lawyer-assisted mediation. Most courts require mediation before litigation anyway these days. Work it out. Do this for the sake of your children.

    The bottom line is, you’ve got to work it out anyway. Just do it, before you waste a ton of money on court fees. Use that money, instead, on college savings. :-)

    Good luck