REALLLY REALLLY FUNNY JOKES?

February 3, 2013 | By

Question by Lmao Cano: REALLLY REALLLY FUNNY JOKES?
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?" LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

A cowboy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing with **** on there necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room." In the second room, people are standing with **** up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with **** up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, "I pick this room." Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, "O.K., coffee break's over. Everyone back on your heads!" HAVE FUN NOOB

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, and after finishing their dinner they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" "Watson, you idiot!" he exclaims, "Somebody's stolen our tent!" IDIOT!!!!!!! LOLOL NOOOOOOOOOOBS

A ladddy is home having a shower one day when the doorbell rings. she panics (lmao!!) and then she hears the person at the door say "its the blind man" She thinks to herself.. if the guy is blind then he wont be able to see that she is nude. So she opens the door and the guy says "nice **** now where do you want the blinds" LMAOCANO!!

One day a woman wins a 10 million dollar lottttery and she walks into the house and tells it to ehr husband! He says "thats great honey!!!!" "yea i know, now pack your bags!! "SHould i pack for the beach or the mountains?" I DONT CARE JUST GET THE HELL OUT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' ROFLCOPTER!!

YO MOMMA SO FAT THAT WHEN SHE STEPS ON A SCALE I SEE MY PHONE NUMBER
YO MOMMA SO FAT SHE WENT ON A SEAFOOD DIET. WHEN SHE SAW FOOD SHE ATE IT
YO MAMMA SO FAT SHE WEARS THE EQUATOR AS A BELT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(skip this one) yo mamma so poor i went to her house for dinner when i asked what we having she spread her legs and say "cr@bs"

NOW FOR THE FUNNIEST JOKE E V E R !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET READY!!!!

R U READY????
YOU BETTER BE!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHATS BROWN AND STICKY? A STICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… OMG!!!!!!!!!!!L O L!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG LOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFLAMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… OLOLOOLOLOLOLOL

Best answer:

Answer by Wascally Wabbit
Brilliant !

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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